Are Cross country kids important enough to run my life?

After reading M’s and Peg’s blogs I’m almost too intimidated to write. Except, Maybe it is time I started some kind of a record – for me or for posterity or better yet, as an opportunity to “exercise” my mind.

Yeah, I’ve spent so much time with the cc kids and doing things for them that I have to consider what my role with them has to be and does it need to change. I’m not into lots of changes – I like things done my way – and I rationalize it as being the best way for me ‘else I’d have done it differently. DUH, unless I’m just too lazy!

Anyway, my ego might be the biggest part of part of my continued involvement in the sport and with the kids. I hope that what I do with/for them is really beneficial. People congratulate me and thank me, of course, and I like that almost! Almost because I might actually question why I’m doing it and usually it is because I enjoy it. I do look forward to the summer and preps and Red River as one begins to anticipate Christmas in the fall. And as the season hits I’m wishing it would slow down and at the same time that it would “arrive” (be over?) I really do have quite a letdown after state almost like after Christmas.

And then there is the fact/idea that were I to not do this then who would. Would the running program end? Would some one take over who might not have my passion for the “job” or for the kids. Yeah, the kids. Where would I be without them? I remember many years ago in the classroom about ending my career and then would I be ok without the kids! I really think I’d be lost with out them. Here we go with “ego” again. It might be “ME” an awfully lot. Oh, and that might be ok.

And I think the challenges in my life have often been doing something that pushes me out of my own comfort zone. By the way, everyone may actually, and unknowingly, operate past their comfort zone. I’m always in wonder of how and why I’ve done many of the things I’ve done and the places I’ve been. My jobs, my avocations, my marriage, my friends, my purchases, my places: these may often be pushing passed the easy life. Anyway, I don’t believe I’m exceptional with my runnners, it is just that I do it when maybe no one else would do it. I’m doing something that may be important – at least to me and to the kids – but might not be noticed were it not done.

Then, where would I be were I not doing this! I know, I’d be doing this because I need to be doing it: going out for hours and for miles on the arroyos and the ridges: pushing myself to sell what we do to kids and families to do something that will help make them better: I”m better for it, and I’d have to find something else that might not work and then where would I be?

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